Have you noticed how much attention decluttering our living space is getting these days? It seems Americans simply have too much “stuff.” Almost all of us wage an ongoing battle with the accumulation of clutter in our external environment.
However, it’s our internal cluttering I want to focus on in this article. This type of cluttering occurs in a very small space.. .right between our ears. Just as our physical surroundings easily become filled with things that are no longer needed or useful, our minds do the same. We find ourselves bombarded daily with negative thoughts we can’t seem to release. The resulting internal chaos can be downright debilitating:
“I can’t turn my mind off.I feel like I’m on a hamster wheel.”
“I’m constantly worrying about things in the future.”
“Others tell me that I’m always thinking negatively.”
“I can’t keep track of all the things I have to do.”
These are statements of a mind that is running a muck. Worry, negative thoughts, obsessing.. .these negative patterns can clutter our mental landscape, leaving us feeling stressed out and powerless. Worse yet, we can become so used to these patterns of thinking that we accept them as “just the way we are.” However, that’s never true because we can change our patterns. By practicing and developing new mental habits, we’re able to discover that our patterns are nothing but bad habits that bring us suffering.
Making a distinction between pain and suffering can be useful here. We all experience various degrees of pain in our life. Pain is unavoidable. Parents die, bones and hearts get broken, our bodies fall ill. Those experiences are a part of life. Suffering, on the other hand, is created in our mind.
Suffering takes many forms. Cluttering our mind with worry, with constant thinking, with constant negative self-talk about ourselves or about others, robs us of that peaceful place where we are feeling balanced and enjoying life. Mental clutter leads to meals not savored because our focus isonour thoughts rather than tasting the food; leads to conversations where we only half-listen rather than give our full attention; creates anxiety because we obsess over past events or write a scary narrative about our future. All of these patterns keep us from our “now” and clutter our mind in ways that bring about unwanted stress and unneeded suffering.
If you find you often struggle with mental overwhelm, the following five practices I’m going to share with you will help you better control and manage your thoughts. The payoff will be that you stay more present-centered, feel more relaxed, and have a more positive focus.
These strategies takepractice, as do all learned skills. Each time these strategies are employed, new “mental muscles” are created which reprogram old habits into healthy ones. Let’s go!
Five Skills for Mental Decluttering
- Shift into “observation mode.”
Judging, evaluating, analyzing.. .these are the things our brain is designed to do. Thank goodness for that. There are many times those skills are handy and much needed such as when we cook a dish or make a decision about how we should spend our money. The downside is that we often can’t turn that part of our brain off. Our culture doesn’t help.
Western society places a high emphasis on achievement and productivity, where “doing” is handsomely rewarded, but “being” gets very little attention.However, there has been a shift in recent years. Mindfulness training is all the rage in psychology these days. Classes are taught in most cities and a plethora of books have been published on the subject. Western culture, with its emphasis on activity and growth, is learning how these ancient practices of the East are immensely helpful in living a balanced life.
Shifting into observation mode is a fundamental aspect of mindfulness. It requires us to shift out of our normal mental activity and to settle into an on going awareness of our experience. An easy way to make this shift is to get physically comfortable (but not so comfortable that we fall asleep) and turn our attention inward. As we do this, focusing on our breath is very helpful because it immediately puts us into a present-centered flow.
This gentle shift brings about an almost instant sense of relaxation as our mind begins to release itself from the tug of analytical thinking and moves instead into observation mode. This slows our mental chatter considerably.
Once we have moved our attention from an external focus to an internal one, we can pay attention to whatever arises, whether it be a physical sensation, a thought, an aching heart.. . whatever calls out for our attention. At this point we are training our mind to stay in a place of observation, rather than actively thinking. This allows an amazing shift in perspective.
We’ve all heard the statement, “You can’t see the forest for the trees.” As we allow ourselves to experience the world from this place of observational awareness, we move beyond the trees and can see the forest. By detaching from our habitual thinking mode, a different and often helpful perspective emerges.
- Prioritize with a To-Do List.
Have you ever had so many things to carry that you started dropping things because you couldn’t balance them all? The same thing can happen to us mentally. When we have too many things to do, with each of them clamoring for attention, we often feel overwhelmed and out of balance.
Here is a simple and extremely effective strategy to counter that sense of overwhelm:keep an active, updated “to-do” list.By keeping a running list of things that need attention, we’re not using up important mental bandwidth by trying to remember everything from memory alone. Putting our tasks on paper, as they come to mind, allows us a mental download that is freeing.
Keeping a to-do list also makes it easier to prioritize and decide what’s most important. Things that are urgent can be separated from things that are important, but not really urgent. Placing to-do’s on paper can move us from a place of “I don’t want to face the day; I’ve got a million things to do,” to “I’ve got quite a few things I’d like to get done today, but these three items are time-sensitive and they’re doable. I’m going to estimate the amount of time each will take, put them in the order I want to tackle them, and knock them out one by one.”
Lastly, crossing tasks off your list as you complete them creates a visual acknowledgement of success and generates momentum.These simple strategies help ensure that we prioritize our day so our time is spent on the things that matter most to us.
- Let go of what has been.
One way we clutter our mental landscape is by continually rehashing a past event. The past no longer exists except through our memory. Painful memories can be difficult toreleaseif we keep them on life support by allowing them to keep bleeding into our present. Sometimes it’s the actions of others that are hard to release; sometimes it’s our own. While it’s helpful to mentally process a past event and to learn from it, our work is then to let it go.
Occasionally, we get fooled. We think we’ve released a past pain only to find it creeping back into our psyche uninvited. Rumination can become our constant companion. When this happens, it’s usually a signal that we’ve not forgiven ourselves or someone else.
An effective way to bring healing to a painful past event where forgiveness is needed is to do an honest self-appraisal. When we do this with an open heart, it can show us the shadows of unforgiveness that still lurk within and block true peace. Those shadows often have to do with the residual judgment of ourselves or others.
Once we are able to identify the judgment that is still breathing life into our pain, we have taken a huge step. Having become aware of how we are unwittingly holding on to this painful event, we now have the option of releasing it.
Letting go frees us from the bondage of our past, opening up mental space to be more present-centered.
- Take stock of daily successes and accomplishments.
We have many successes every day that we take for granted. We exercise good hygiene, balance our checkbooks, give compliments, take needed rest.. .these things are successes, but they rarely receive the applause from us they deserve. We get so used to these successes that we stop giving ourselves credit for them.
No, I’m not suggesting we give ourselves a standing ovation every time we successfully make a good cup of coffee. However, we each have unique successes most days that can be recognized and claimed. Examples include finishing a project at work, completing some items on a to-do list, calling a friend to reconnect, cooking a healthy meal, giving yourself time to rest. All of these are successful accomplishments.
Why is recognizing our successes so important? It’s important because our tendency is to do the opposite. We often focus on what we didn’t do or where we fell short. We turn our attention to our inadequacies, creating a distorted picture of who we truly are. This, in turn, makes it easy to obsess about our shortcomings, cluttering our mind with negative thoughts.
Try making a note of five successes at the end of each day. By acknowledging our successes on a daily basis, we create positive patterns of thinking, enabling us to sweep away the cobwebs of negativity.
- Be engaged in the “now.”
Our minds often seem to have a life of their own, running nilly-willy with no captain at the helm. Multitasking is often the culprit. Fragmented by trying to be more productive through multitasking, our attention splinters as we try to juggle several plates at the same time.
Another mental saboteur is our preoccupation with the past and future. We may find ourselves ruminating about past events or obsessing about future ones. The more time we give away in this manner, the less we find ourselves engaged in our present. Countless precious moments are sacrificed in exchange for overthinking.
Try to fully engage in a present activity at least once a day. Dip into the past and the future when needed, but stubbornly resist mental clutter by ruminating about the past or creating fearful fantasies about the future. Our power is in our “now” where we make the choices that create our future experience.
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Each of these five strategies will assist you in your effort to mentally declutter. Choose one and stick to it for several days to observe the results. Taking charge of our interior landscape is at least as important as cleaning up our living space.
